It’s Not the Same
Readers Advised : Sensitive Topic
Some have compared Cardi B’s early schemes to Bill Cosby’s sexual assaults but the false equivalency can set a dangerous precedent.
Cardi B worked in a industry in which men and women are constantly putting themselves in dangerous situations in order to survive, it can be considered somewhat understandable the actions she took.
Based off reports from multiple sources ( such as CNN, US Magazine, TMZ LA Times), including a post directly from Cardi B’s official instagram, she drugged and robbed individuals that intended to pay her for sex. She did not sexually assault them.
No matter the gender, age or status, drugging someone is wrong and should be considered inexcusable.
However, there is a difference when a person drugs someone to possibly assault them, especially while in a position of power, than to take their belongings while avoiding being sexually involved with that individual.
On the other side of the spectrum, in which Cardi B’s actions are being compared to, there are individuals like Bill Cosby, whom were accused of drugging the unaware in order to commit sexual violence.
Cosby not only took advantage of these women’s trust and thwarted their aspirations in their prospective careers – but he took a part of them they may never get back.
Cosby was in a position of power, preying on those that were not.
Sexual violence is not gender specific and can happen to anyone.
Although having went through something so traumatic, an anonymous male has decided to share his story in hopes to help bring light to the possible dangers, that even male sex workers encounter.
Due to the sensitivity of this topic, and for the sake of keeping any other harm from coming his way in regards to the events that had taken place, he will remain anonymous.
“I was a sex worker for about a year when I met a man at a bar, he was supposed to be my next client. He looked super fancy, suit and tie kinda guy. We went back to his room and we had a couple more drinks. Then he drugged me, he slipped something into one of my drinks and kept me locked in a room proceeding to rape me repetitiously for about three days…it felt like years,” said an anonymous male, 27, psychology major.
“Honestly, I don’t even know how I’m alive right now. I didn’t go to the police… because why would I? They wouldn’t help someone like me anyway. ” He continued with tears running down his face.
“People don’t get how hard it is to survive in the world these days. Some of us do what we can. Whatever we can. Even if this isn’t the best job. We are still human beings. We deserve food and a roof and to be safe. I have never been the same. I don’t do that anymore and I still rely on medication to sleep. This was six years ago in August. ”
He ended with saying that although the man did not go to jail for doing what he did to him, he is currently in prison for other charges.
Anonymous male is now a full time student, working towards a degree in psychology in order to help others that have experienced sexual violence in the future. As of now he works as a hairstylist on his days off of school as well as sees a therapist twice a week.
A project run by the Urban Justice Center in New York called Behind Closed Doors: An Analysis of Indoor Sex Work in New York City in 2018 states that 46 percent of sex workers experienced violence in the course of their work, and 42 percent had been threatened or beaten for being a sex worker. Additionally, 14 percent reported violence at the hands of the police, and 16 percent encountered sexual situations with the police.
Cardi B may not be the most talented artist to date to some, nor were her actions acceptable in any sense, but attempting to say that two very different situations should be handled the same way is also incorrect. There is a false equivalency between sexual assault and theft.
These crimes, although they may have started off similarly, what followed after the drugging is something that needs to be taken into consideration.
The idea that both crimes can cause the victim to feel violated is definitely an argument that can be made but putting material items on the same level as a person’s physical well-being can be considered to be inhumane as well.
Although I am not a sex worker, had no intention of meeting anyone for sex and was in a public settling, I have also experienced being drugged.
I was surrounded by friends at a popular nightclub, it was my first night out in a while and we were celebrating a friend’s birthday.
I had to get up early, so I decided despite it being a special occasion I did not want to drink too much.
I chose to only have one alcoholic drink for the evening in able to toast to my good friend on their special day.
I stepped away from my friends to go to the bar and get a drink for myself. I was approached by a man I did not know and engaged in friendly conversation as we waited for the bartender to take our order.
The music was blasting and people around us were trying to talk over the many sounds, it was something we joked about as we waited.
The bartender took our orders, returned with our drinks and he and I went our separate ways.
My friends and I talked and danced, all the while I sipped on my drink.
About an hour after ordering my drink, my body began to feel strange.
The dark parts of the club seemed darker, the colorful lights seemed a lot more vibrant and the music became a bit overwhelming.
It was as if my world was spinning and every part of my body tingled, like the feeling just before a part of your hand goes numb.
I was so confused as to why my body was reacting the way it had, taking into consideration that I had an above average tolerance to alcohol at the time and had only the one drink the entire evening.
Soon after, the man from the bar I had spoken to was right next to me.
He greeted me again, asking me to dance in the form of silly hand gestures and body motions.
This made me laugh, slightly distracting me from how I had been feeling.
We danced a bit and before I had time to realize, he was leading me towards the door.
From that point on it was darkness.
The next morning I woke up dazed and confused in my friend’s bed with my friend asleep on the floor.
My head was pounding.
I had very little recognition of the night before.
This is not a common occurrence, even after nights of heavy drinking.
Getting off the bed, I woke up my friend, distraught from my lack of memory.
I needed to know what happened.
He filled in the gaps and tears ran down my face from mortification and relief.
This man, that I thought was just a friendly stranger had roofied (rohypnol-a drug designed to make someone drowsy or disoriented) me.
I was already a survivor of sexual assault and had my friends not noticed that this stranger had been lurking around me the entire evening, waiting for the right moment to approach me and that I had not been acting like myself, my evening would have turned out a lot more devastating.
Because of my friends, this man, this “friendly” stranger was unable to take me out of the nightclub and enact any of the plans he had for me that evening.
As stated by the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, one in five women and one in 71 men will be raped at some point in their lives, in the United States alone. One in three women and one in six men experienced some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime, 51.1% of female victims of rape reported being raped by an intimate partner and 40.8% by an acquaintance, 52.4% of male victims report being raped by an acquaintance and 15.1% by a stranger.
Though my story can be considered to have ended “well,” this just shows you how simple it is for an individual, that may seem nice to take advantage of a situation while having ill intentions in mind.
No matter the circumstances, a crime is a crime and each offense/person that has committed as such, should be held accountable based off the severity of the situation, in this case theft should not be considered as severe a crime as rape. Money stolen is not the same as sexual violence.
