Opinion: (Lack of) Hispanic Heritage

Self portrait illustration by: Emily Hermosillo

Hispanic Heritage month, to me, is an opportunity to learn more about myself.

Of all places where cultural barriers could exist, the worst is within a family.

Growing up in a household that did not celebrate Hispanic traditions, I did not know I was of Mexican decent until I was in the third grade.

As a child I was excited to be a part of something larger than myself.

My favorite part of the day was after school, when my teacher would teach me a new word in Spanish. I’d rush to the car and tell my mom “I can say hot chocolate now. It’s chocolate caliente”.

My mom, who is of mostly German decent, was very supportive. She even taught me a few words in Spanish she had learned from being a critical care nurse. But my father, from whom I got my Hispanic blood, never spoke Spanish with me.

Maybe he never learned it either.

I couldn’t hold a conversation or formulate complex sentences, and while the language was something that excited me, at the time it didn’t seem all that important.

When my great-grandmother lay dying, I stood just a few inches from her, but I couldn’t understand anything she said. I tried to listen. I fidgeted. I tugged at the tattered padding of her hospital bed until it tore off in my hand. I squeezed that black foam, desperately wanting to say something to the family member I never got to know.Today I greatly regret not learning Spanish.

I didn’t know what to say to her then, but if I had the chance now, I would want to hear her journey in her own words. I would ask what my grandpa was like growing up, how she managed to raise nine children, and what living in Mexico was really like.

If given the chance to speak to her I would study relentlessly.

I intend to enroll in Spanish classes and if I learn to speak the language well enough I will teach it to my future children.

Heritage has always been a touchy subject with my father, I assume because of his bad experiences dealing with prejudice people in school and the workplace, but I still wish I had been introduced to some of the culture.

A wealth of art, tradition and stories is lost to me, although they were prevalent in my ancestors’ lives.

I am grateful that Sept 15 through Oct15 is dedicated to celebrating and educating Hispanic culture not only because it relates to my family, but because it encourages everyone to see into other cultures and appreciate their own.

Culture unites people and gives them a sense of belonging, It helps us reflect on who we are. Knowing that I have a larger family out there makes me hope to find my roots, better understand my family history, and hopefully be accepted by my Mexican relatives, despite my being only one-fourth Hispanic.

I’m still ignorant to the customs and traditions of Mexico, but I am starting small by learning how to properly celebrate Dia de los Muertos this year.

I plan on going to the Latinos Unidos Student Association’s “Day of the Dead” celebration on Nov 2nd on campus.

Perhaps one day I will feel less like an observer and more like a practitioner.